Nice job, both of you. I see this as a start of a series where you take other Nobel-winning works, especially the many that are impenetrable, and give them a polishing.
Tom, first, this is really quite good. You are correct, it was well worth reading.
Once again, I was reminded of Robert A. Heinlein's The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. Have you read it yet?
The AI main character, Mike, also suffers functional degradations, and eventually loses his sentience and vanishes. Just like our feelings in your story, we're saddened by the loss…
I liked parts of this a lot, but ending doesn’t work for me. Also, the father is under-developed, and I can’t believe he wouldn’t let Eli move the bed.
As I told Eric Estrin: I love the ending. To me it brings home the beautiful difference between an artificial consciousness (as imagined by an artificial intelligence) and a real one. Eli has a self. He has feelings of a sort. But none of those feelings are self pity. And he doesn’t prioritize experience as humans do. Simple movement is as engrossing an experience to him as staying up all night gambling in Monte Carlo. It is a kind of nirvana - not wishing for anything other than the simple presence of being. He’s been discarded and stuffed into a room with only a chair and a bed he doesn’t need. He has no resentment. No need for sympathy or diversion. The world moves. That’s enough.
I think Tom is right about the point of the scene, but I think you're right that those lines you quoted are superfluous. By stretching the ending out with those three short sentences, actually written as three short paragraphs, the author is calling too much attention (in my view) to something we don't care about. get the point, but it's a little self-important for my taste.
Well gentleman (puff on cigar, blow perfect smoke ring), we have just treated ourselves to a nuanced literary analysis of a work created by a dang machine.
I thought of the untitled Emily Dickinson poem that begins, I heard a fly buzz when I died. (That's all I remembered until I looked it up after reading the story.)
If the machine had those lines in its RAM and just HAD to use them, they may have been better as the first three lines rather than the last three.
I love the ending. To me it brings home the beautiful difference between an artificial consciousness and a real one. Eli has a self. He has feelings of a sort. But none of those feelings are self pity. And he doesn’t prioritize experience as humans do. Simple movement is as engrossing an experience to him as staying up all night gambling in Monte Carlo. It is a kind of nirvana - not wishing for anything other than the simple presence of being. He’s been discarded and stuffed into a room with only a chair and a bed he doesn’t need. He has no resentment. No need for sympathy or diversion. The world moves. That’s enough.
One thing Ishiguro did excellently was create an AI character that wasn’t robotic, yet was recognizably not human. As I said in the post, the fact that Klara clearly had a self, yet was unflinchingly selfless, was the heart of her character.
The job search short story you prompted is an amazing example of where AI creativity is going. I’m writing a Substack note about it. Interestingly, the tennis one did not grab me. The premise for the job search story was anchored in a high-stakes, very real human dilemma and it did a beautiful job individualizing it. It was nearly a perfect short story. The premise of the pickle ball/tennis one seemed more manufactured and certainly less crucial. I totally believed in the poor woman looking for a job. The pickle ball characters seemed made up. Anyway, if anyone happens on this response in the comments, do read this story: https://centaurpage.substack.com/p/the-language-its-used-to?r=fuose&utm_medium=ios
Nice job, both of you. I see this as a start of a series where you take other Nobel-winning works, especially the many that are impenetrable, and give them a polishing.
Great idea! Maybe it could even rewrite some of Dylan’s more enigmatic lyrics.
It would be cool to see Dylan with a consistent voice. Is it I or you, Bob?
Tom, first, this is really quite good. You are correct, it was well worth reading.
Once again, I was reminded of Robert A. Heinlein's The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. Have you read it yet?
The AI main character, Mike, also suffers functional degradations, and eventually loses his sentience and vanishes. Just like our feelings in your story, we're saddened by the loss…
I just put a hold on it at the library. Thanks for the rec.
I liked parts of this a lot, but ending doesn’t work for me. Also, the father is under-developed, and I can’t believe he wouldn’t let Eli move the bed.
I agree with Tom, I like the ending. It ends with us looking at the scene from Eli's perspective, what Eli sees and is absorbed with.
Very good story!
I wasn't thrilled by the very end. These lines could have been deleted. What do you think the machine was aiming for?
------------
The bag filled.
The bag collapsed.
Then it filled again.
As I told Eric Estrin: I love the ending. To me it brings home the beautiful difference between an artificial consciousness (as imagined by an artificial intelligence) and a real one. Eli has a self. He has feelings of a sort. But none of those feelings are self pity. And he doesn’t prioritize experience as humans do. Simple movement is as engrossing an experience to him as staying up all night gambling in Monte Carlo. It is a kind of nirvana - not wishing for anything other than the simple presence of being. He’s been discarded and stuffed into a room with only a chair and a bed he doesn’t need. He has no resentment. No need for sympathy or diversion. The world moves. That’s enough.
I think Tom is right about the point of the scene, but I think you're right that those lines you quoted are superfluous. By stretching the ending out with those three short sentences, actually written as three short paragraphs, the author is calling too much attention (in my view) to something we don't care about. get the point, but it's a little self-important for my taste.
Well gentleman (puff on cigar, blow perfect smoke ring), we have just treated ourselves to a nuanced literary analysis of a work created by a dang machine.
but CONCEIVED by you
I humbly accept credit
I thought of the untitled Emily Dickinson poem that begins, I heard a fly buzz when I died. (That's all I remembered until I looked it up after reading the story.)
If the machine had those lines in its RAM and just HAD to use them, they may have been better as the first three lines rather than the last three.
So THERE, ChatGPT.
I love the ending. To me it brings home the beautiful difference between an artificial consciousness and a real one. Eli has a self. He has feelings of a sort. But none of those feelings are self pity. And he doesn’t prioritize experience as humans do. Simple movement is as engrossing an experience to him as staying up all night gambling in Monte Carlo. It is a kind of nirvana - not wishing for anything other than the simple presence of being. He’s been discarded and stuffed into a room with only a chair and a bed he doesn’t need. He has no resentment. No need for sympathy or diversion. The world moves. That’s enough.
Yeah, I guess you’re right. I think, for me, a bot may not be a satisfying main character. Obviously, a failing I should try to overcome.
I got a bit verklempt. Although Eli was thoroughly personified. That helped. Maybe not 100% human. There was quite a bit of Mr. Spock’s literalism.
One thing Ishiguro did excellently was create an AI character that wasn’t robotic, yet was recognizably not human. As I said in the post, the fact that Klara clearly had a self, yet was unflinchingly selfless, was the heart of her character.
The job search short story you prompted is an amazing example of where AI creativity is going. I’m writing a Substack note about it. Interestingly, the tennis one did not grab me. The premise for the job search story was anchored in a high-stakes, very real human dilemma and it did a beautiful job individualizing it. It was nearly a perfect short story. The premise of the pickle ball/tennis one seemed more manufactured and certainly less crucial. I totally believed in the poor woman looking for a job. The pickle ball characters seemed made up. Anyway, if anyone happens on this response in the comments, do read this story: https://centaurpage.substack.com/p/the-language-its-used-to?r=fuose&utm_medium=ios